I had always wanted to compete in a fitness model/ bodybuilding show and so when I finally decided 9 weeks ago that I was going to commit to it, I guess that was it. For the following 2 months I would focus all my efforts into competition prep and drop most other things I enjoy. Brunches where out, nights out with friends no longer and training and competition diet were my only real priorities.

Its strange because I guess my training is always priority for me, but once you sign up to something like a fitness comp, it’s is all consuming; with every aspect of life. I guess you become incredibly self-absorbed and naturally that makes you quite selfish, everything revolves around you, mainly so you don’t fall off the prep bandwagon. Don’t get me wrong, having discipline and a purpose to achieve something is great and a very important quality for me. But when everything is at other people’s expense, I don’t think that mentality, it’s a healthy trait to have. With the nature of fitness model/ bodybuilding prep, its inevitable.

Anyway I just about got through prep; I’m not gunna lie I did have a lot of slip ups (I really wish now that I didn’t as it would have been interesting to see the results without deviating off plan) but I guess I underestimated the nature of the process. It’s not the training or diet that’s the hardest, its your mental state of feeling tired all the time.

Onto show day….. the whole last week all I was thinking about was getting the show over with … I wanted to be able to enjoy life again, have energy especially for training ! and get back to normal life!

What’s strange is as my whole childhood, I was in a competitive sport, meaning that I never had time or would be aloud to do things other that sleep eat and train, but I absolutely loved what I was doing and I didn’t care about anything else. My only goal was to be the best in the world at my sport.

However for the fitness model comp, it felt quite different, what was the purpose of  posing on stage to win a contest thats pretty much just judged on your looks …  when I competed in gymnastics, it seemed like so much more, you had talent, strength, power, flexibility and skill. I have realised I am an athlete, not a beauty model, I didn’t realize the show would be so focused on glitz and glamour.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of respect for people who put themselves through fitness model and bodybuilding shows every year, prepping year in year out to achieve an amazing physique (as long as they are not using steroids !). I would also not discourage others from competing if they wish to. But be warned, it’s not an easy process and be prepared to become very selfish!

I like the hard work aspect of competing but the nature of a fitness model comp is not for me.

I did meet some lovely people in the process and I have to say I have had an incredible coach, truly inspirational, very knowledgeable and just amazing in every way and more than anything, I admire her business acumen. But ultimately the fitness model/ bodybuilding competition world is not me and its not a world that I enjoy.

Fitness modelling is all about glitz and glam and all I really care about is training. You are judged on your bikini and spray tan and makeup.  I didn’t realise the extent of this aspect of the comp prior to the show. I had bought the cheapest bikini possible still over £100 (some girls had spent £700 on bikinis) I did have the spray tan and makeup done for me on the day, but I don’t find these things particularly enjoyable. I am definitely not a girly girl! I would much prefer to spend that money on training or enjoying doing something with friends. Don’t get me wrong, I like to look nice once in a while but I would never go the extent that I did on show day normally.

Anyway despite all I have said above, I am glad I have competed. Why ? Because it was always something I wanted to do and if I hadn’t of done it, it would have always played on my mind. Its not worth letting things play on your mind without action. Make the decision, commit to something and do it. At the end of the day what’s the worst that can happen ….. Life is about experience and this has certainly been an experience.